What’s the (true) story?


Where I come from, the greeting from one to another is often: ‘What’s the story?’ It means, how are you, tell me what happened, what is going on with you… or  ‘What is the story with that???’ It means tell me the history of this situation.

In the past few weeks, as I settle into preconception / prenatal  awareness with my little one, and within deep listening and watching how things unfold in my body and with others, I feel as though I am welcoming a new story.

I feel as though I am welcoming a new truth.

My sessions with pregnant mamas and the babes within, or with new babies are revealing so much about the perfect place we all hold in the family unit.  In allowing the baby to lead I/we have been tuning in to the family ‘constellation’ –  where each member is in relation to each other. This different to the old story of what it should look like or what it has or hasn’t been. This is a new understanding. It is in the present. And when this information filters through to the body of the mama and babe, the sky is limitless in terms of change, or what we can allow to develop within and around us.

As I tune into this sense in myself and in the context of the Global Unified Body, I feel as though the certainty which I referred to in my last post (Shine on you baby diamond),  –  that sense of foregone conclusion –  is ever-stronger. The place of ‘me’/mother is one co-ordinate in the place of family. Physically I feel posture realign, my pelvis open and my legs stand into this place, my womb open and reach out, mamma on earth, connected to mamma earth and the all the mammas. The spiral through the body moves upwards, allowing change in womb, lungs, neck, jaw, allowing space and relationship to fluidly move in and out through the front of the body.

The star-place of each of my children, my husband, where they have come from and will ever go, is within an orb of exactness – divine precision.

I feel as though I am welcoming a new truth.

I feel as though the certainty within this truth follows itself through a new development in body, a new kind of embryology, a new kind of understanding what the development in ‘form’ is. Physically this feels like a new understanding of what the senses do, again I feel the ‘extra’ sense, beyond the physical five senses and even beyond the sixth sense.

As I sit with my family, writing, it feels like there is no separation between family members. I now just wait for my littlest one to come into body again. It feels like a foregone conclusion, the certainty of us as family, with the little one to come. There is earthiness in that.

There is a bigger picture;

The picture is wide, it is soul-to-soul,  babe-to-mamma, the place we each hold in family, the place we hold in relationship to the greater fields of families, to the greater field of each other, or community. Souls to souls. The picture shows how we move in this soul, or within this unit and how we flow through the units of others. In body, this feels as though the connectedness is vibrational, within all of the senses, showing the new receptivity and exchange within what can be.

I am / We are welcoming a new truth.

The truth is known by my children and they get it. We grown-ups/wise ones, over-think it all. And in over-thinking, we disperse the simplicity, we complicate the connection and dilute our intrinsic knowledge to doubt, fear, vulnerability, vigilance. We embody a different story. We feel it in restriction, pain, relational heartache, illness, lack of flow,.

I am / We are welcoming the truth of a new story.

One that embodies joy, tenderness, kindness, connection, perfection. One that allows the flow, the release, the welcoming.

I can now allow that story to move through me, to change my set-up from  fear to openness. I can allow that to let me follow the lead of my new fluidity to connection, not separation. I can follow the lead to surrendering to a wisdom that is clearly revealing itself and joining the cosmic dots of relationship in ways I never knew before, and yet know intimately somehow.

And as I sit here, on Christmas Eve, the time of The Family and welcoming The One as we are told that story, I feel that my body can drop into my constellation a little more. It can drop into my place of presence, my mamma-hood. It can allow for a new story to be told, that is the wider family, and that is a welcoming of the little ones to stand in their star spot. They can shine out the details of the new story, and we watch it unfold to connect us all in joy.


© Babysoulbeam.com 2015

Shine on you baby diamond

Another personal pre-natal awareness session meets another Global Unified Body listening session….

In the former, I was settling into feeling life as a baby – maybe a few days old. I was intrigued about how I was received. I felt the OK-ness in myself as this baby, an OK-ness that was totally connected to something greater, awesome, familiar –  to source. It was my navigator, my rudder, my anchor. All three in one.


I liked hanging out here, sailing in the OK.

This OK-ness was in the presence of the discomfort of my ‘form’, the body that I was in, how I arrived, and the ‘story’ of the surrounds, the people, the holding. There was so much questioning of  what the purpose of certain body parts were (in particular, the voice, the mouth) in the presence of the story of the parents.

I now know with certainty, that the connection to source throughout life is ever-present and palpable. The connection is in the non-conscious, and the struggle of life can lie in blending the conscious ‘form’ of us to the non-conscious source – the OK.

In acknowledging and ‘regressing’ to this pre-conception Ok-ness, I was able to see why I had chosen my parents, and I met my destiny, the essence within my mother, and without her story.

I connected from my pre-conception state to the heart-beam of my mother as a child. It was a very clear link. The child heart that could, and would hear me as an incoming in the ‘some-other-time’. It progressed as truth and destiny and a prophecy, in connection with her pre-form soul / her incoming soul. It settled my body sense to OK.

So there was an overall OK now, in form and in source. Phew! It felt like such a relief. To be received so purely by another in her purity.

As well as being very mind-blowing, this awareness that we choose our parents in timelessness gives earthiness to the idea of fate; the idea that there exists sublime foregone conclusions, that we make our wisest choices far before we even conceive of what a choice is. Our wisdom lies in connection to source, and the coming into form can somehow create struggle with the home of wisdom, and how we relate to it.


Later, in the larger group, in listening again to the older children, the adults who have arrived, we felt this created struggle, the returning to wisdom and safety, within the body, and within connection to source.

The integration of where we come from and where we reside is being brought to attention. If we can really hear the sweetness in and of the messages of our babies, and settle with their wisdom, we can begin to reconnect to our own wisdom, to our own source, and we can all come home to that. Again the theme of receiving ourselves allowing for the receiving of others comes through. A beautiful circle encompassing acceptance.

In sessions recently with babies in the womb, or in awareness of my own baby soul beam, it is clear that they are shining, bright centre-stage stars. They are singing their destiny.  They have chosen their womb-stage, their mama, in certainty. They know their wisdom, their stunning selves, their source. They own the spotlight, they own their voice, they own love.  And these little growing babies – in the womb, or who have arrived – are offering their hand to those who have forgotten the shining light in themselves, and inviting them to step into ‘shine’ again too.


It can feel sometimes, that the shining they bring is giving light to the edges of ourselves that we would like to keep quiet, out of the spotlight / stage left / back stage / out of the theatre altogether. It can feel like they are bringing exactly what we have not wanted to see in ourselves or hear of ourselves, or embody. It can feel like it is a case of opening up to the polar opposite of who we are.

And then they are holding our hand to show us how to shine with them, how to be OK in form, and in connection to source.

They want us to shine, they have chosen us for this. Timelessness ago.

They have chosen us for this! Whatever our ‘this’ is.

How fortunate we are.

Can we listen to them, acknowledge the awesomeness in them, receive the holding from them, receive them, and take a step towards shining alongside them – our little stars?



© Babysoulbeam.com 2015

Unifying Respect

I feel my little one at every turn. It is in my being now. It is getting easier now to know when he/she is speaking / writing / feeling through me.

I am beginning to trust what emerges in myself, and listen to that. The listening now feels like a 7th sense or beyond, higher than intuition. It is opening to awareness of information and the true response within the fluid body to that.

What has emerged strongly in past weeks – and in the context of our Global Unified Field of listening – is that there are still others to hear.

The need to listen to the older children at  such a high level, in the presence of the ‘incoming souls’ listening is very real.

In a recent therapy session with a mammy and baby, the mammy was amazed and moved at how engaged her little month old baby was with what we were doing, how we were all listening to each other through space and touch. She thanked me at the end of the session for treating her daughter with such respect. She had not seen that before, nor felt it so strongly in herself, and left our session feeling that her new truer communication with her little one was one bound in strength, clarity and honesty.

My sense over the past while is that I haven’t really been hearing my older children as deeply as I could. I mean, I listened to them with ears that I thought I understood their needs from a ‘mother knows best’ perspective, but in truth, I can’t actually teach them anything. That admission is so free-ing. It feels so spacious.

For the past few weeks, my son has been talking about his birth, his life in the womb, the time before birth – trying to work out the ‘rainbow’ and where people go, why they cannot come back… he has been showing me frustration in being with this lack of clarity. He shows it through his language, his impulsive reactions in connection with others, his physical well-being – his digestion. He has been saying that there should be a baby swimming in my belly now, where is it? He feels it is very small. He knows it is somewhere and that it is coming.  My son is flighty, he is starry, he is spacious. He told me yesterday that he was in the stars. I heard that.

My daughter has been patiently waiting for me to hear her more, to listen more honestly to what she brings to the family. She is kind to me in my challenges to hear. She observes patiently as I ‘lose it’ with things that I can’t control and waits to welcome me back into the picture. She holds attention, she commands the room, she merges with experiences like no one I have ever met before. She kisses my belly reassuringly when her brother talks of a baby coming. She knows life and how to live it. She has no fear in her exploration of things. She doesn’t just jump in the puddle she becomes the puddle. She is fluid, she is earthy, she is embodied wisdom.

I listened recently to the call I had with Shelley Lemaire the month before this wise earthy bundle was born. It was wonderful to hear how intimately Shelley knew her, and painted the picture of her as she was informed it by her. It was comforting to know that my daughter had been heard in her truth by Shelley as she made her way to me physically. It was truly awesome to hear how she and I (eventually) could ‘tune in’ to her being and her birth by listening in open honesty. It feels so good to reconnect with that again.

And in listening to these (two) children who embody star and earth,  or who may embody both and feel the confusion in that, it feels as though their stories relate intimately to the welcoming of someone/something new. It is as though their places and experiences are informing the bigger picture. And the knowing they can give to their mothers / mother earth.

I see in my children that they feel more heard. I have heard both of them laugh in their sleep since I have tuned in more. Real belly joy. I have felt how joyous it is for all of us to open to this level of listening, and I have seen too how my son processes this change within his little body. I have felt how challenging it is when I slip into old, ingrained patterns, and I feel that this awareness is how they are changing me fundamentally. Changing my knowing.

So far….

I know now there is relinquishing control. There is seeing;  from a very new and different angle. There is no longer truth in thinking we ‘know best’ / must ‘protect’ / must ‘guide’. This goes beyond the cognitive understanding of peaceful parenting / teaching / ‘theruping’.

I know now there is beauty in knowing nothing. More than I ever have known, I know there is teaching from them, not teaching from me.

I know now there is a deeper dance between us, a following of experience, of laughter, and pain, at another level, beyond words. And that if we can trust more in this, the boundaries of individual needs are lifted. There is a unified flow of movement and love.

I know now there is a stronger communication , a resonance finer than sound or gesture or feeling, brighter than light, more sensitive than skin. It is the resonance of connection that comes with yielding to the darkness, and allowing the darkness to lead the way.

I know there is the biggest, widest, most awesome mutual receiving in the belly of the most sacred and precious mutual respect.

I know there is no separation. There is one-ness, unity. A totality that allows for more ease in weaving in and out of connection with each other.

And, I know there is more. Infinitely more.

The moon shines down on the Arctic Ocean as curtains of green Aurora Borealis dance overhead, off the coast of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

© Babysoulbeam.com  2015